Fully Charged

Shout out to one of my favorite goddesses on this planet, Shayna. (The new Mrs. Moldovskiy)

Shayna worked at the sister restaurant to the one I managed for a while, so she was in my periphery for years before I actually got the gift of knowing her when I took the job at Taqueria in 2021.

Shayna is a sparkly blonde bombshell with infectious energy and the most striking blue eyes. She embodies unapologetic goddess energy and has always inspired me to be my most radiant and authentic self, no matter what.

She had “fully charged” in her Instagram bio for a while and I remember thinking, “Damn. She IS fully charged. I want that too!”

So when I found myself in another Rock Bottom after the tumultuous end of a relationship in December of 2022, I decided to dedicate my life to getting Fully Charged.

What did this look like?

Pouring into everything that made me feel more like me.

It looked like reaching out to friends I missed while I was on Boyfriend Island. It looked like taking lots of bubble baths and getting massages. Lot’s of singing to an invisible crowd while dancing my little heart out. Taking hikes and long barefoot walks around the neighborhood. Traveling as much as possible and nibbling on psilocybin mushrooms for a little micro dose to enhance the love and joy I was cultivating within myself.

Being fully charged manifests for me as abundant joyful energy. It felt like feeling ecstasy flowing through my veins and more gratitude and pride for myself and my community than I could even express.

I allowed my faith in the Universe to be infinitely stronger than the fear I felt.

And there was so. much. fear.

Turns out, the formula to making my dreams come true was doing things that terrified me.

Booking trips across the country by myself to spend time in my favorite cities alone.

Going to live shows and events - alone. Trusting myself to make connections and enjoy my time on my own.

Saying no to situations that would not serve me and trusting that an aligned opportunity would come when it was time.

They always did.

If I had to summarize the last 12 months - I think I’d call this chapter of my life, “Phoenix Rising.” A story of feeling burned and destroyed, only to rise up again so much stronger than ever before.

I made myself my main priority, and the entire world opened up for me.

Instead of wallowing, playing it safe, and sitting in my fear, I did the opposite.

I took care of myself so deeply that I had no choice but to charge enough to make it radiate out of me - attracting the people and situations that made so many of my dreams come true.

I look back at last December and I wish I could let that version of me know that it would all work out more beautifully than she could ever imagine. I’d tell her that the pain is going to be worth it because the joy she was about to experience would overshadow that pain so immensely she wouldn’t believe it.

So here I am, in another December, feeling a little frozen, a little blue, and a little fearful of the future.

So now that I’ve acknowledged where I am, I am deciding to channel the future and let this current version of me know that this season of rest and uncertainty is going to be the catalyst for another incredible year.

My assignment is to be patient, to trust, and to make sure I’m charging myself up as much as possible in anticipation of the seasons to come.

What does being fully charged look like for you? How will you know when you feel it?

I love you, no matter where your charge is right now.

Stay well and nurture yourself.

Love, Lena